I’ll Probably Laugh at My Children

The other day in small town U.S.A, we had a four day street fair to celebrate the 4th of July. Yes, four days of celebrating Trump’s America. If I found out that my tax money was being used to put privileged kids on ferris-wheels under the reigning president cheeto, I might be a little salty. Moving on.

As I was walking down the street to my car, I passed by the performance stage where people had been singing for most of the day. Without looking up, I heard a voice coming out of the microphone that made me want to knock myself unconscious. I proceeded to get out my phone and record the voice on Snapchat as I kept walking, still not looking up to see who was singing. When I finally reached my car, I saw that the singer was a child.  A child who looked to be about five or six years old. I had quite a few thoughts in that moment –

1st thought: You just made fun of someone who left their heart and soul on that stage.

2nd thought: You just made fun of a CHILD that left their heart and soul on that stage.

3rd thought: What if I have children and accidentally laugh at them?

4th thought: What if my children think they’re weird because I’m always laughing at them?

5th thought: You should probably make a better poker face so they can maintain some semblance of confidence.

6th thought: I can’t do that. The fuckers are doomed.

Yes, I feel bad now. Yes, I still think it’s funny. Will I actually laugh at my children? Probably, but not in front of them. I’ll do that later over a glass of wine while they’re asleep. This probably sounds evil, but you’ve thought it. I was just the one to say it.

 

One thought on “I’ll Probably Laugh at My Children

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  1. HAHAHAHAH – 6th thought: I can’t do that. The fuckers are doomed.
    Yes, my kids figured out (now 13 and 11) – you have to have a sense of humor in this house. And my daughter told me I couldn’t go to her 5th grade dance performance – “You don’ t need to go” but I’ll go “no, i don’t want you go” Why? Fine

    Like

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